Journey

Yesterday was the start of the journey for Erin which will ultimately end with her arriving at base in Iraq. All the horror stories heard about the screw ups that happen in travel arrangements when arranged by the military apparently are true. By the time I received her call last night at 11:30 pm she was a bit hot under the collar with all the mess ups. It started with her airline ticket not having been paid for down to not having a room for her and another female at Travis when they arrived. Oh, and it gets better. They flew them from Colorado to California right? Guess where they fly to today? Maine. They will be there long enough to refuel before heading to Germany. Are you scratching your head too?

Her day started yesterday with her picking up her M16. Yep, as in gun. The darn thing is probably as big as she is. She called me from the airport complaining because she had to be there so early and now she had a couple of hours to kill before her flight. I did remind her that stating you have a couple of hours to kill while standing in an airport with an M16 might not be in her best interest. She got a chuckle from that.

So, the nuts and bolts? The weekend was brutal. It hit me hard that she was leaving. It showed itself by my having misdirected anger and unreasonable fear. My dear husband was the target for the anger and my son was the lucky one to get my fear responses. In hindsight I wonder if they would have traded places?

Bob was great when he realized what was happening. Once I exhausted myself with the anger there was nowhere else to go but out of control crying. But that all happened after I had forced Perry to miss a date because I was too afraid of him traveling in questionable weather. The thought of two of my children in harms way was too much for me to take on. Suffice it to say it was a tough weekend for all.

Yesterday was difficult in that it was a waiting issue. Waiting for the phone to ring that is. There is that need to hear her voice as much as I can before she is finally out of reach. Is that a mama thing? I already miss her so much.

A friend from church sent home a pin she wore through her sons two tours overseas. She said it gave her comfort to touch it when it got rough for her. As much as I appreciate the sentiment behind the pin it is the understanding that is priceless. Here is another mother who felt the same things I am feeling now to reassure me I’m not going crazy and that it will be ok. It is easier to hear that from someone who has been there.

So, you might be asking me where is my faith in God throughout all this. Right beside me and the whole family. God understands anxiety. Did Jesus not sweat blood at Gethsemane? I’m thinking He has a lock on what I’m feeling and more. It is that assurance that makes it easier to tumble into His loving hands for comfort. It is knowing that Erin is doing the same. She even said last night that after getting off the phone with me she was going to grab her bible and find comfort there. THAT is the best thing to ever hear.

So, today is another waiting game. She is hoping she can call but there are no guarantees. So I will sit here patiently and hopefully. To even get a 15 second call will make the wait worth it. To hear her voice…….

Tomorrow? Well tomorrow we will ship out our first care package for her. We will begin to live our days as we always do only now we add to it. We gather up the tidbits of our days and we share them with Erin in emails and letters and in the small gifts we can send. We will concentrate on directing our focus to positives and not let our eyes wander from that.

Well it is time for me to get to task. Waiting does not mean idleness. Heaven forbid you couple those two together. Yikes.

Love to all!!!