Spinning

I need a camera. This is silly considering that there are presently five cameras in the house. We have the old 35mm which is a nice camera. Who uses them anymore? And it is cumbersome. I’m looking for something to take to Colorado with me. Each of the kids have cameras and I suppose I could borrow one of them but I really would like something I am in control of. And of course Bob has his $1600.00 Digital SLR camera I bought him for his 50th birthday. You’d think a camera that expensive and with that many bells and whistles on it that I could take a decent picture with it. Nope. But I could probably launch the space shuttle.

I’m too simple when it comes to all this technological gobbly-gook. I need something with point and shoot capabilities. Something simple and to the point like me. It also has to be able to take some abuse. If anyone has any suggestions of what brand to look for that doesn’t break the bank….I’d appreciate it.

I want the camera for the trip because I don’t think I have any pictures more current of Erin than maybe 18 months ago. We mama’s are weird like that. Our babies go off somewhere and we have to have their image right next to us. Hmmm…..I’m speaking of mama’s as a whole when I really have no right to. Maybe it is just a me thing. I’m doubting it though.

I feel kind of lost lately. My mind jumps around a mile a minute. So much so that the feelings kind of hit numb. Numb is okay up until it hits a stall. Then it immobilizes a person. I try to not live by feelings knowing full well that feelings can be deceptive since as humans we tend to default to self protective surface emotions, but they are nice to have around occasionally to jump start a person into action. When I stay numb too long I tend to be as I stated earlier….lost. Unsure of where to start.

The other danger in numb is that when I’m not feeling on the inside…..I start looking on the outside. Now, why this is dangerous is this is when I get started on seeing the speck in my brothers eye. Ah come on….you know what I’m talking about. I become this awful, sinful fault finder extraordinaire. With God’s help I am getting better at recognizing these snares the evil one sets up for me. Seeing the snares must then lead to releasing all to God. Call my sins for what they are, repent of them and ask for forgiveness. Then He has the power to release me from their power and bondage. It can’t happen until I’m willing to recognize the ugliness in myself first. Amazing how many years it took for me to really get that.

Well, it is time for me to stop spinning my tires and put the tread to the pavement and get my day started. It is a beautiful day. Praise God.

Remodel

Oy, another one of those work intensive days. Yet another room has been torn apart in readiness for wood floor to be put in. This of course means that everything…….stress that….EVERYTHING from that room is now strewn about the rest of the house. Now we ARE talking about the girls room. Do you know, have any idea, what two teen girls can accumulate in their short lifetime? Zoe is the biggest of the pack-rats and even has a need to save a bag…..yes a bag of the paper variety…that she received her encouragement notes in at World Changers. Why do visions of her on Oprah discussing her OCD behaviors of hoarding and the 33 cats she has living with her come to mind? She may be beautiful but she is quirky.

Kelsey is more prone to stream lining. She has made attempts but with Zoe as a room mate it hasn’t been something she can maintain. I think she mainly looks forward to her brother eventually moving out just for the chance to get her own room. Once she does have her own….it will be interesting to see what kind of contrast does show up.

Anyway…I digress. Bob doesn’t start putting the wood in until tomorrow night. In the meantime with a bare room….and I’m talking bare….down to the subfloor….the kids and I get to paint today. It used to be that I did all the painting solo. How nice to have kids that now can grab a brush and pitch in. Do they like it? Yeah right….and they sprint to the sink to see who gets the honor of doing dishes too.

Bob figures he should be done with the floor by Friday and then we can get them all moved into their room again. I will be one happy lady to have my house back. The obstacle course we have to maneuver to get around now really leads to many bruises as one bumps into various corners and such. Not to mention a cat scaling the highest points in the room which, is presently the mattresses up on end, so she can perch and scare everyone. Wicked little kitty.

Why am I rambling on about all this? Maybe, because the attempt to spruce up the house kind of feels like life sometimes. Tearing out the old and replacing it with new and improved conditions. I know in my life there have been times I’ve been down to the foundation in an attempt to rebuild. This was not a bad thing. As a result the foundation is sturdier.

I used to be a pack-rat in my life. Not materially like Zoe but in the hurts that I suffered. Was that ever a freeing experience to toss that trash out of my attic and corners. It has made lots of room for some really spectacular things to enter. Oh, there are still one or two items that linger. But, I don’t go to those rooms all that often and I am hopeful I will toss those before long as well.

So, I’m 48 years old and my framework is finally doing so much better praise God. But oy….cosmetically……there ain’t enough paint in the world.

Lifestyle

I, as is everyone I speak to these days, am getting spitting mad at what the economy is up to lately. I hate having to fill my gas tank. Did that yesterday and it cost nearly 74 dollars. I don't want to go anywhere unless it is absolutely necessary. And don't get me started on the cost of food. Thank God we have always been bulk buyers. That has allowed us a little breathing room at least.I am also thankful I grew up poor. We were hand to mouth in our family. But it was okay. We did have food to eat, though at times the pickin's were slim. And we had clothing on our backs that once belonged to someone else of course and at times they were a bit tattered. We had a roof over our heads that tended to leak in a good rain. Heat. We had that too but it was kept low to conserve so we learned to dress in layers. In the heat of summer you walked to the lake for a dip and at home tried to squeeze in for some of the air circulation from the one lonely fan we owned. Entertainment was bountiful from our imaginations. We made do with what we had. Not a bad way to be.Today though, people want to eat out numerous times a week and wear the latest trendy clothing to do it. The homes people live in are obscenely huge and filled with every contraption on the market and always at the perfect temp in their climate controlled existence. Entertainment? I find that is where poverty has truly set in for most people. People are zombies in front of their television sets or latest computer games. Todays entertainment really doesn't tap into anyones imagination anymore. How sad.

By Gods graces we are not poor anymore. God has provided for us nicely. Oh, some times the paycheck looks too lean but that is because of our inflated expectations. That is part of what this mind wandering is all about. Getting those expectations in check. I think a nice road can be found between yesterdays living and todays. Contentment in the basics. Abundance in the simplicity.