Letting go

Well, today goes down as one of those yank at your flesh days. My drivers license is officially in the hands of the state. It was hard letting it go. Heck, I was even thinking my picture on it wasn't half bad. Now that is pitiful. This is also the day I start dieting and exercising. I gave up my freedom and my source of comfort all in one day. I may be considered dangerous by days end.

While I sat there with my license in my hand I had that old devil whispering in my ear that giving it up was because I had absolutely no choice and that I was being held prisoner of that lack of choice. It was only a moment. A moment that could have spiraled me downward if it wasn't for the other voice that gently reminded me that I did have a choice. My choice was how I was going to respond to all of this. I chose to suck it up, lean on Jesus and look for the blessings. A wise man told me this ...get ready to discover what God wants you to do without it that you'd never done with it, and do it to His glory. He is right. So, I will open my heart, eyes and ears to that.

I have decided to challenge myself. I have a six month window before I get my license back. Okay, I will use that time to try to lose the 47 pounds I need to lose. It's guaranteed I'll be doing a fair share of walking. I've already appointed my daughter as the Portion Control General. Zoe takes these responsibilities VERY serious. Oh my goodness.....I just realized that without my ability to drive that I can no longer sneak snacks!!! Egads!!! My physical, psychological response is telling me I may need a 12 step program or a dealer that can score me some chocolate.

I survived both parties we attended this weekend. No seizures. Blood pressure was a bit high because of my anxiety about seizures but other than that it was okay. I enjoyed myself at both events. Yes, I was quieter than I normally would be but that was okay. It was fun to sit back and watch everyone in celebration and fellowship. It felt good to be surrounded by such warm, loving souls.

My daughter and her husband are moving in a week. They have been living in North Carolina. It is far but still close enough that we made a few trips a year back and forth for visits. Well now they are moving to Colorado. The frequency of our visits just went down substantially. But......considering how close she came to being deployed....I'll take it gladly. I pray, and I ask everyone else to please pray, for their safe travel.

My other three children are upstairs laughing right now. Is there any better sound than that?