Stuff

Today I have my neurology appointment. I was supposed to also go to Penndot to get a photo ID since I have to surrender my license Wednesday. Found out they are closed.....much to my relief. For some reason it was bothering me more then another doctor appointment. Although...the two are connected. The seizures are why I am losing my license. The seizures had already gobbled up a large portion of my freedom. Surrendering my license just feels like a jail sentence.

I understand why the state has to take my license. I'm not a fool. I wouldn't want my kids on the road with someone like myself. (insert joke here if you would like) It is good the state takes precautions. It just sucks being the person that the state is protecting other people from.

I wish there were other people to talk to about this condition. Swap stories and progress reports. I really need to hear the progress reports most of all. It is frustrating to be thinking I'm finally on the med that is going to control all this only to find out after a number of weeks its effect has been diminished and the clusters are back. To top it off I put on 15 pounds in 6 weeks with this med. But, its side effects are less them most others. Either the doctor will increase this med today....or prescribe something else. Again.

Read the previous post and you know patience is not a strong point with me.

Did I ever mention that anger is one of those stages one goes through also? I find myself at its doorstep regularly. Yep, I'm there today. It can be useful at times. It is what sparked a fire under my butt to get to church yesterday instead of letting fear grab hold of me again. God uses what He has to. God is good-All the time.

So...we also have church and a party to go to tonight. I'm nervous. We also have been invited to a New Years Day gathering which I am also nervous about. The flesh wants to hide in the house until this is over but the spirit knows better. It must be all part of that refining fire. There will be something better. There always has been.